Hope

First off, we want to THANK everyone who has been praying and thinking about us. Believe me, we have FELT it.

The last day and a half have been slightly better. Alex still has uncontrollable fits. He still screams for 30+ minutes straight, still hits, and now even bites (Dave has the scars to prove it). When he's doing good, he's an angel. When he's not, well.....

It now usually occurs just before nap time and bed time (no surprise) - and throughout the day at odd times. We've already had our neighbor come twice to ask if we were beating him - well intended, but not helpful.

The real miracle has been our ability to remain calm during his fits - something we didn't do over the weekend. Even when he's screaming bloody murder (and yelling Russian that we don't understand - and probably don't won't to), we've been able to not let it get to us, but continue to speak softly to him. Believe me, this is God alone enabling us to do it.

Our heart really hurts for Alex. When he's screaming, hitting, and biting us, we aren't taking it personally now. We can now see how all this rage is really directed at the cruelty that the world has dished out on this poor little one. So we continue to speak softly, love him, and pray for more patience.

Don't get us wrong, we are still very tired, pretty much at our limits, and still very much need your prayers. But, we feel we have passed a milestone. On Sunday night, we both were at the the brink of calling the whole thing off and coming home alone. Thanks to friends, family, and ultimately God, we feel we are passed that crisis. We know these are our kids, even if we don't 'feel' it all that much anymore.

To catch you up, this weekend we had both Ethan and Alex. Ethan really stepped up, played the role of a big brother, and was a true saint (despite his own fits). He went back to his orphange on Sunday night since he had his last day of school on Monday. We had intended on taking custody of him after that, but we've now decided to hold off a few days, perhaps another week. We just really need to give Alex our full attention to get him through this stage. We feel Ethan is old enough to understand this, and while it breaks our heart to not have him with us now, we hope it will be the best in the long run.

Thanks again for all your prayers - they TRULY are felt.