Honeymoon is over...

So, today we took a big step forward in parenting. Today was the first day both boys had meltdowns.

The bonding period in an international adoption is a tricky time. We spent the first week just being 'playmates' with our kids - trying to get to know them and pretty much letting them run the show. The second week we've begun trying to establish ourselves as the 'parents', which means discipline. Now, we aren't disciplining like you'd think, far too early for that. But the last few days we started saying 'no', and that has raised a few dilemmas.

Today during our visitation time, Ethan found some change in Dad's pocket and wanted to keep it. We said no. Alex wanted to go outside, but our time was up, so we said no. Both no's caused quite a meltdown for both boys. It was frustrating because we could not communicate with them to talk it out, and we couldn't really discipline them (how do you do that to a kid you met a week ago, in a confined room, when you only have 2 hours a day with them).

Today was hard for us. We are trying to walk a fine line between giving these amazing boys the love they so want, but also establishing ourselves as the authorities in their lives. It's turned out to be not an easy transition. It's even more difficult because we can't effectively communicate with them, and we are in an environment that we can't control (ie, we can just send them to there room or to timeout - we only have 2 hours with them). So each night we are continually re-strategizing how best to love these kids, play with them, and also gradually lay the groundwork for the future.